


Off the Record

by GwennhaduBug



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Celebrity Crush, F/F, Feelings, Interview Fic, One Shot, POV Alya Césaire, Spoilers, bisexual problems, post- Queen Wasp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-27 23:40:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16229705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GwennhaduBug/pseuds/GwennhaduBug
Summary: [Post Queen Wasp]“Why was I going to get the Bee Miraculous?”“Alya, we can’t…” Ladybug stared down at the phone, putting a hand out to cover it.Immediately, Alya clicked the button on the side once to turn the phone off. Obediently, it went dark, but stayed lifted in her shaking hand. “Off the record. I just...I...I have to know.”--Alya is excited, as always, to interview her favorite superhero and celebrity crush. Especially after her victory against Queen Wasp and Style Queen! But the one question she can't ask on the record ends up being the one that gives her way more answers than she bargained for...and way more questions than she started with.





	Off the Record

**Author's Note:**

> **SPOILERS FOR STYLE QUEEN AND QUEEN WASP**  
>  You know those moments that just FILL your Alyanette heart so full you HAVE TO put every other responsibility aside and write fanfic in a panicked whirl of feelings?  
> Yeah. Marinette trying to give Alya ANOTHER MIRACULOUS and then Alya fricken sacrificing herself for Ladybug in response was one of those moments.
> 
> This was supposed to be shorter than it was (story of my life), but at least it's done in one day.

The best things that ever happened in Alya’s room always happened right like this; with Ladybug sitting on her bed, Alya sitting in her spinning desk chair, her phone in hand and recording app lit up and running. She had more exclusive interviews than any other news agency and somehow, Ladybug always knew exactly when Alya wanted one. All it took was complaining once or twice out loud to her friends and there she was, knocking on her bedroom window after Ella and Etta were fast asleep.

Tonight was one of those interviews. The world was buzzing...a pun Chat Noir would have been proud of...after Ladybug and Chat Noir defeated two super-powered akumas back to back. The horrifying Style Queen, which Ladybug seemed to defeat on her own (and Alya almost entirely missed), followed by Queen Wasp, the scariest Chloe had ever been. Alya was determined to take home the most hits with the best questions.

Alya had been on the phone with Nino when she appeared in the window, but her boyfriend was ecstatic to let her go. He knew how much the Ladyblog meant to Alya. Honestly, he even knew how much Ladybug meant. Their frank conversations about celebrity crushes had gotten a little...emotional for Alya one night. Nino understood. He also knew that she probably had about as much of a chance with Ladybug as he did with Chat Noir. To Alya, Ladybug was the pinnacle of everything. But to Ladybug, Alya was just a fan who ran a blog.

So really, he had nothing to worry about.

This particular evening, Alya and Ladybug had been talking for almost forty minutes at this point about everything. The battles, Chloe’s reveal as Queen B, and Ladybug left some perfectly vague hints about how Style Queen found defeat. Now, Alya always had an entire slew of questions she never asked:  _ Who are you? Do you go to my school? Who chose you? Will you need Rena Rouge again soon? Do you like girls?  _ Like those questions, Cantaloupe rinds and crumbs of crackers sat between them, untouched. As did the newest question Alya dared not ask that burned the tip of her tongue.  _ Why was I going to get the Bee Miraculous _ ? 

“Do you expect Hawk Moth to akumatize another Miraculous holder?” Alya asked, yet another question to fill her interview time.

“I expect him to try. But Chat Noir and I work very hard every day to keep our emotions pure and positive, hoping to avoid just that. And we only choose the best, most incorruptible of allies.” Ladybug smiled wide at Alya, winking in a way that sent shivers down her spine. Incorruptible. There was that question again.  _ Why was it almost me? _

Instead, Alya asked, “Then why Chloe Bourgeois? She seems corruptible to me. She seems like one of the most corruptible victims in the city!”

Similarly answering the way Ladybug had danced around earlier questions about the Bee Miraculous, she said, “I don’t expect Queen B will provide Hawk Moth with that target again. Chloe did an exceptional thing in returning the miraculous and I am very proud of her in that way. Now that Chat Noir and I know a Miraculous holder can be akumatized, we will continue to be even more careful with ourselves and our allies.”

“Will Chloe get the Miraculous again?” Alya asked.

“Officially, I can’t say,” Ladybug replied, shaking her head. “And truthfully, I don’t know. I don’t think so...she is an exceptional person in many ways. But frankly, the last I heard from her and her mother, they planned to leave the city. We plan to keep the Miraculous here, to protect Paris from Hawk Moth for as long as he is a threat.”

“Right, Chloe plans to move to New York. We did discuss that earlier. Would the Bee go to-”  _ me? Me? ME?  _ “-someone else?”

“If we need the ability to immobilize an opponent, I know it can find a good home,” Ladybug said.

“What made Style Queen and Queen B such difficult akumas?”

“I think it was the power they had before akumatization. Chloe wasn’t quite as hard to defeat when she was Anti-bug, her first akumatization. When she had the Bee Miraculous, she had real, actual powers. And Style Queen had so much...um... _ passion _ before her akumatization.”

Alya threw her head back and laugh. “I think you mean she was a total bitch.”

Ladybug giggled. Her eyes were wide and head nodding, letting Alya know how completely she agreed, but on the recorded record, her voice said, “I wouldn’t use that word.” Ladybug laughed again, her laugh as light as the mood between them. “Do you have another question?”

“Why was I going to get the Bee Miraculous?”

“H-what?” Ladybug asked, jumping a bit in her seat. 

Alya swallowed, but she couldn’t swallow those words any longer. They were out now. So, trying not to grimace or lose her cool, Alya just dug in harder. “You tried to give me the Bee Miraculous. What happened?”

“Alya, we can’t…” she stared down at the phone, putting a hand out to cover it. 

Immediately, Alya clicked the button on the side once to turn the phone off. Obediently, it went dark, but stayed lifted in her shaking hand. “Off the record. I just...I...I have to know.”

“Oh! Well, um… I was trying to give it to you, and then...well, you were there! Style Queen showed up. She tried to turn me into glitter and you…” Ladybug’s voice got softer as she said, “sacrificed yourself for me.”

Alya’s phone dropped lower in her hand. Her hand felt weak when her eyes met Ladybug’s own shimmering pair. “Anyone would have, Ladybug.” 

“That’s not true. I’m sure  _ some _ people would, but not  _ anyone _ . You did, though. And so...I couldn’t give you the miraculous anymore. You...uh...were glitter.”

“But you had wanted to.”

“Yes. Yes, I did. You’re...you’re not still recording, are you? It’s off, right? You know this has to be off the record.”

“Of course I know that. Ladybug, I already said it was... You explained all of this with Rena Rouge,” Alya agreed. Then, she scoffed. “Although it’s not like Queen B is a secret to anyone.” She rolled her eyes.

“Yes, well, she wasn’t exactly my first pick and that’s definitely one of the reasons why. Secrecy is important.” 

Alya’s head pounded with that unanswered question. The one she’d held back for forty-five minutes, the one Ladybug seemed to be avoiding just a bit. But it was out in the open now. It floated around them and poked her in the side, the way Trixx had in the past. The way the Bee kwami might have done, if it had been hers. “But why was  _ I _ your first choice?”

“Because...because I couldn’t find Chat Noir, and I knew I would need help.”

“My help?”

“Y-yes.”

“But you didn’t ask for Rena Rouge,” Alya said. It wasn’t a question. Rena Rouge had helped a couple of times already...she seemed like one of Ladybug’s go-to allies. But today wasn’t like that at all.

“No, I needed the power to immobilize Style Queen. An illusion wouldn’t have worked. So I couldn’t ask for Rena Rouge.”

“Ladybug, that’s not...that’s not what I’m asking. If you didn’t need Rena Rouge, why  _ me _ ? Why ask me to use the Bee Miraculous?” Ladybug didn’t seem ready to answer that. She avoided Alya’s eyes, instead staring up at Alya’s ceiling, seemingly fascinated by the spider-plant that hung in the corner. So Alya said, “I mean, I’m not complaining. I would spend my entire life by your side if I-” Ladybug’s eyes flicked to Alya’s own, and Alya’s blood froze for a moment. She tried to backtrack as Ladybug tried to see through into Alya’s soul. “… I mean, I’m always happy to help. But why me?”

“Why not you?”

Damn Ladybug. Couldn’t she answer a question without turning it back on Alya? Alya, who was a blushing, nervous mess? It was going to take her at least fifteen minutes to get out all her pent-up anxiety from this interview, hidden under layers of well-practiced chill. “I’m already Rena. Right? But, come on! Answer the question, Ladybug. Why me?”

Ladybug crossed her arms and gestured to the black-screened phone in Alya’s hand. “I thought we were off the record. Why does it matter so much?”

“It matters more to me than to the Ladyblog readers and you know it, Ladybug.”

Ladybug uncrossed her arms so she could drop her face into her hands and groan. Then sat up straight and answered, “Because I trust you.”

Honestly, the answer was a bit of a let-down after the way Ladybug built it up. And maybe it showed, as Alya slunk back into her chair. “It’s because you trust me,” she repeated.

“Alya, I would probably give you every miraculous if I could,” Ladybug replied, a laugh in her voice. 

From her chair, Alya narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean?”

Ladybug bit her lip. Now she looked tense again. “Well...I mean...I trust you. I would want you as my partner in every fight, if I could have it. I mean, none of us would exist without you.”

“What does  _ that _ mean?”

After opening her mouth, Ladybug’s cheeks started to pink and she shut her mouth, stammering out, “nothing, it means nothing,” in the kind of voice that screamed  _ everything, it means everything _ .

So Alya abandoned her chair, dropping her phone onto it, and went to Ladybug’s side, sitting on the bed with her. It felt comfortable and familiar, it felt exciting and forbidden. To Ladybug, it apparently felt nerve-wracking, the way she sat up taller and stared at the Majestia poster on the wall, intensely avoiding Alya’s eyes. “Who is us?” Alya asked.

“The...um…” Ladybug gulped. “The miraculous heroes. You know!”

“How would they not exist without me?”

“Well, the- the bee and the f-fox, obviously,” Ladybug replied, waving her hand. She scooted a centimeter away.

Alya scooted two centimeters closer. “That’s just two. That’s not all of them.”

“Carapace. He was...protecting you. I picked someone who could protect you.”

Alya nodded. “Right, Nino.”

And Ladybug stared at Alya with wide, frightened eyes. “Wait, you  _ know _ ?!”

Alya laughed and she put a comforting hand on Ladybug’s thigh. Somehow, it wasn’t shaking. “I mean, he didn’t exactly broadcast it on TVi, but I know my boyfriend. I’ve known him for years! I would know if he was Carapace.” That didn’t seem to sit well with Ladybug. She didn’t scoot away, she didn’t move Alya’s hand, but she swallowed loudly and picked at her knee. “I won’t tell anyone,” Alya promised. “I know the difference between a scoop and a secret.”

“I know, I’m not worried about that.” Maybe she was telling the truth, but Ladybug seemed far from confident. Silence sat between them for a few moments longer, marked by the passing of cars outside the window. “Honestly,” Ladybug laughed a bit, breaking the silence, “your sister was a tough one to beat. Chat and I couldn’t do it alone. I needed you. I  _ would have _ asked you, if you weren’t, you know, the victim.”

“If I was literally anywhere else but her web?” Alya laughed. She smiled to herself, imagining herself as Carapace for just one moment. A green hood with curls pouring out of it. She’d call herself  _ Toti _ , maybe. 

“If you were anywhere but the web, absolutely. I would have given you that miraculous to help us.” She turned and looked at Alya, smiling again. Apparently, whatever had made her nervous about the Nino-is-Carapace thing wasn’t quite as distracting anymore, with both girls imagining the heroes Alya could have been. “Anywhere but a golden glitter statue and you would have helped me today. Like I said, you’re the reason behind all of us. Or at least, you’re always my first pick.”

“That’s still just three. I don’t see how I helped  _ Chat Noir _ exist,” Alya smarted back.

Ladybug laughed and rolled her eyes. “Okay, maybe you didn’t help  _ him _ become a hero. But then again, I don’t know. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if you did. I don’t know who he is...really, Alya, I don’t. And the way you help every single person you know...” she put her own hand on top of Alya’s, resting on Ladybug’s thigh. Alya felt her stomach swoop and her racing heart almost drowned out Ladybug’s words. But god, she was glad it didn’t completely. She was glad she could hear Ladybug say, “The way you help everyone else find confidence and find their heroism, I think Chat Noir  _ must _ be a little bit impacted by you. I know I am.”

“You are?”

“Alya, I would never have become Ladybug if it wasn’t for you,” Ladybug replied. Her voice had taken on an entirely different volume now. It was hushed, private, and intimate. Like the voice of a best friend. Even their faces were closer together, and Ladybug’s smile looked so familiar, it felt like...like… “No one else believed in me.”

“What are you talking about? Everyone has always believed in you, Ladybug.”

“Not at first,” she disagreed. Ladybug laced her red gloved fingers between Alya’s, tight fabric against soft skin. “In fact, I didn’t even believe in me at first. You don’t remember that?”

Now it was Alya’s turn to avoid eye contact. But she could nod. She nodded twice, then swept hair behind her ear, watching Ladybug out of the corner of her eye and over her glasses. Still, she was glad that she wasn’t so nearsighted she couldn’t see that beautiful, soft face. As soft as that first day they met. “Of course I do. That’s why I lo...su... _ support _ you so much. You’ve grown and changed and it’s amazing to watch and feel like I’m a little bit a part of it.”

Ladybug laughed. “Alya, more than a little bit a part of it. Honestly, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. I would have given up the miraculous. That’s why I always want you on my team. That’s why I wanted you as the Bee. And the Fox.” She giggled. “Even the Turtle.”

Alya smirked. “What about the Black Cat?”

“Oh, god,” Ladybug threw her head back and laughed. “That would be...oh, wow. Chat Noir would...oh, wow.” She smiled and shook her head. “Like I said, I don’t know who Chat Noir is, so I cannot imagine what  _ his _ life would be without that miraculous. But if it were up to me back then?” She nodded and giggled. “Yeah, I would have chosen you as my partner.” Ladybug’s mouth closed in a smile, laughing behind closed lips. At the same time, Alya’s heart stammered, imagining herself as Chat Noir. Fighting alongside Ladybug every day, her closest confidant, her one truly reliable companion. Imagining herself as central to the rumors of a Ladybug and Chat Noir romance...maybe with truth behind it... Ladybug spoke again, pulling Alya’s attention back to face her. “Frankly, I would have given you the Ladybug miraculous, too.”

Sternly, Alya replied, “Ladybug, no! No one but  _ you _ could be Ladybug! You have the bravery and the heart and compassion we need.  _ You _ are the true Ladybug.”

Ladybug’s second hand took Alya’s chin softly. Her expression grew even softer than that. If Alya’s heart would slow down, she might even recognize it. “And  _ that  _ is why I am Ladybug. Because you really, really believe that. And you always have, before anyone else. With you around, I know I can do this.” She let go of Alya’s chin and gestured to herself. “I know I can  _ be _ this. That’s why I always want you as my partner. Whether it’s a Bee, or a Fox, or…” she giggled, “A reporter who gets in way too deep and way over her head.”

“I can stand up for myself out there, you know! I’m not over my head.”

“Oh, I know you think that,” Ladybug laughed. She could see Alya ready to fight back, so she interrupted, “and I don’t mind saving you when you’re wrong.”

“I’m not a damsel in distress, Ladybug,” Alya sputtered. She wanted to cross her arms for emphasis, but god help her, she wasn’t letting go of Ladybug’s hand. So Alya settled for an impassioned hand on the hip.

“No, you’re not. You’re a hero, and you always will be.” 

Alya’s hand dropped to the bed where it could clutch the sheet. The girls sat in silence again, eyes locked on one another. Somewhere along the silence, they had found themselves sitting even closer until their thighs touched and Alya’s toes skimmed the side of Ladybug’s foot. It was that brush of toe against fabric that made Alya tear her eyes away and she could hear again; albeit only hear the blood pounding in her ears. This intimacy and closeness was far beyond a celebrity crush. Ladybug didn’t  _ just  _ see her as a fan; that was obvious.

That...was...clear. 

As Alya took deep breaths, focusing in and out on her desk across the room from them, she heard Ladybug speak. “Thank you, by the way, for saving me today.” Her hand let go of Alya’s, but then it found its way to Alya’s back and  _ ugh, she was making this even harder _ . “Thank you for jumping in front of Style Queen and saving me. You really were the hero we needed, with or without that miraculous. You always are.”

“With or without?...Ladybug,” Alya croaked, “I think you trust me too much.”

Ladybug giggled. And goddamnit, her giggle was even cuter and more familiar than anything else that night. “Oh, Alya, that’s what I think about  _ you _ every day.”

“I don’t trust you too much! You save Paris every single day without fail. That isn’t  _ too much _ . That’s exactly the right amount.”

“With or without that miraculous, you trust me too much,” Ladybug said softly, her hand stroking up and down. With every movement, a little bit more of Alya paralyzed.  _ With or...without…? _ “You will always be the hero who saves me and shows me who I am and what I can do.”

_ With or without… _ Alya started to turn around and faced Ladybug, who was looking over at the wall and Alya’s six taped up photos. Her and her friends from back home, before she moved to Paris. She and Marinette. She and her boyfriend. The class as a whole. She, Nino, Marinette, and Adrien. It was nothing like the veritable shrines in Marinette’s room, but it was comforting. Ladybug apparently thought so, too, from the way she smiled and stared.  _ Was she… _

_ But she couldn’t be… _

For not the first time in her life, frankly for not the first time in the past month, Alya stared at Ladybug’s profile and imagined her without that mask. And for not the first time that week, Alya told herself that  _ no _ , if Ladybug was  _ her _ , that would mean that all this time, Alya was in love with…

“I wouldn’t have picked anyone else for that miraculous, Alya.” Ladybug said again. “I’d pick you every day.” She swallowed and smiled, a little weaker this time, at Alya. Ladybug moved her hand back to Alya’s thigh, squeezed it, and she sighed. “Did you...um...have any other questions for the Ladyblog? Ones that we can put on the record?”

Alya tried to shake distracting thoughts out of her head, shaking her hair in the process. “Not tonight, girl. I’ve got what I need. I, um, should probably get to bed.”

The way Ladybug looked at her, it was as if she knew how much of a lie that was. But still, she broke their physical touch and stood up. Her face transformed right before Alya’s eyes into the stoic, powerful expression of the heroine Ladybug. “Then I’m sure I’ll see you around.”

“Anytime you need.”

That soft, familiar look flashed in Ladybug’s eyes. Alya could almost hear her say,  _ every day, then. _ As soon as the look was there, it was gone and a formal smile reappeared, followed by a stiff nod. “The same for you, Alya. Bug out!” She ran to the window, pushed it open, and in an impressive set of ariel flips, Ladybug was swinging away from view.

Alya stared after the dark Paris sky for a few minutes, then looked back to her bed, where Ladybug had once sat. Her stuffed fox sat there, a little disheveled, now fallen on top of the stuffed Ladybug plush. Alya’s lips quirked in a smile. Maybe one day she  _ would _ add a stuffed bee.

She stumbled onto the bed face-first, giggling and groaning and feeling way too many emotions for her young body. Way too many confusing thoughts, exciting possibilities, endless alternate realities.

Her phone buzzed lightly and Alya looked over to see who texted her. Instead, with the phone now re-lit, she saw her recording app, still open, still recording, now filled with over an hour and a half in time. “Shit,” she said, just under her breath, and tapped ‘stop’. Shaking fingers moved to read her notifications. The text was from Nino, checking in with her Ladybug interview, and as she read and reread the text, another one came in from Marinette, asking how Alya’s night went. But she was too preoccupied with the hour of off-the-record interview sitting in her hands to truly understand what to say to either friend.

She bit her lip and finally decided what to do, plugging her phone into the computer and beginning a slow,  _ slow _ upload. She could edit the part she needed. But there was no need to delete the rest, was there?

While her computer hummed and the progress bar crawled, she opened the texts again and stared at the two bolded names. _**N** **ino** : _ _ How was your interview ;)? _   How was she supposed to respond?  ** _Marinette_** _:_ _ Hi Alya how is your night going? _  What was she supposed to say?

_ How was your interview ;) _ ? 45% uploaded.

_ Hi Alya how is your night going? _ 49% uploaded.

_ How was your interview ;)? _ Ladybug saw her as her partner and wanted her with her at all times. And Alya wanted that, too.

_ Hi Alya how is your night going?  _ Ladybug thought that Alya was her hero.

_ How was your interview ;)?  _ Ladybug saw her as way more than just a fan, and this is a lot more serious than we talked about.

_ Hi Alya how is your night going? _ Ladybug giggled just like you do…

The computer dinged. The upload finished. Alya’s hands shook as she read  _ Upload complete _ and stared at the verbal proof of exactly how important she was to Ladybug. And layers and layers of answers that were destined to give Alya layers and layers of new questions.

_ Pretty great _ , she answered to both texts. Alya clicked on her new file, plugged in headphones and squeezed herself tightly. Then, with a flourish of a click, she scrubbed the interview recording to the part where everything went off the record and became all too unprofessional. She might have to listen to this interview again a few more times before giving either of them more details.

Alya smiled, closed her eyes, and listened.

  
  



End file.
